Monday, March 15, 2010
Flourishing In A Relationship
by Rev. James Wong
According to our planning, our focus for March is on Christian Marriage. This is so because life is relational. It is impossible to exist outside of or apart from relationships. The best support you can get is an unconditional bond from your family. This is the reason why every year a month or so will be dedicated for our consideration on family issues. Hopefully by doing so, we will be reminded, refreshed, re-educated in the Word of God concerning the most important relationship in our lives.
You will find tips and truths about the marriage relationships in this and the ensuing issues of our Sunday bulletins to help you have a good grip of the skill-set that is needed to build strong marriage and family ties. For those of you who are still single, you will find that the materials will be equally beneficial for your knowledge of what it takes to make a relationship works. Knowledge is power. In fact, knowledge is the key to surviving the storms of relationships.
While the truth is that all marriages will have troubles of their own, the knowledge of the Word of God will help us to avoid having a troubled marriage that is held together by the obligation to the children. It is not enough just to have a marriage, or just any marriage. It is God’s will that couples will enjoy that relationship and maintain its intimacy.
When God brought the woman to Adam, he responded by saying “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen 2:23). Nothing can be more descriptive than this phrase about the bonding between Adam and Eve; between a man and woman in a marriage relationship. But many married people now say: “This is the pain in my neck, and thorn in my flesh!”
To strengthen your marriage, from a good one to a better one, from a bad one to a good one, do remember to sign up today for the Marriage Course. If it is not for your sake, why not do it for your spouse’ sake? It is more important that you become a better husband or a better wife rather than looking for one.
We will be dealing with the following topics this month
07 Mar 10 Commandments for Marriage (Part 1 for Women)
14 Mar From Zero to Hero (BB & GB enrolment Sunday)
21 Mar 10 Commandments for Marriage (part 11 for Men)
28 Mar How To Keep The Romance Going
The 10 Commandements for a Love Relationship
The 10 COMMANDMENTS FOR A LOVE RELATIONSHIP
Focus on the family (Part 1)
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Five Commandments for Ladies
1. Give Up Your Dream for a perfect marriage.
Abraham almost betrayed his wife
12 When the Egyptians see you, they will say, 'This is his wife.' Then they will kill me but will let you live. 13 Say you are my sister, so that I will be treated well for your sake and my life will be spared because of you."
~Gen 12:12-13 (NIV)
2. Give up Trying To change the Other Person
Criticism or Attack will never work
“the Lord God formed the mane from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being. … Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, …” ~Gen 2:7,22 (NIV)
3. Give praise and affection
Show to your man that you value him and respect him.
“Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” ~Eph 4:29 (NLT)
4. Do Things he likes to do
Be your man’s best friend
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. … Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? ~Eccl 4:9,11 (NLT)
5. Provide a peaceful place
Your home is stress-reducing or stress producing?
“Better a dry crust eaten in peace than a house filled with feasting—and conflict.” ~Prov 17:1 (NLT)
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” ~Prov 21:19 (NIV)
Life Group Discssion
What is the best thing that you can think of about your mother? What are the characteristics you can find in yourself?
Look through the sermon outline on the 5 Commandments for women on page 4. Read through the verses as well. Are they reasonable expectations for a woman? Share your views.
Now go through them one by one, how does each truth apply to our present
life?
For the men in the group, do the 5 Commandments for women covers the necessary basics on a love relationship? What is lacking and why do you think so?
Take turn and share with the group the most important lesson you have learnt and would focus on developing it in your life. Jesus said: in Matt 7:24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”
Look through the sermon outline on the 5 Commandments for women on page 4. Read through the verses as well. Are they reasonable expectations for a woman? Share your views.
Now go through them one by one, how does each truth apply to our present
life?
For the men in the group, do the 5 Commandments for women covers the necessary basics on a love relationship? What is lacking and why do you think so?
Take turn and share with the group the most important lesson you have learnt and would focus on developing it in your life. Jesus said: in Matt 7:24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.”
10 Realities About Love Relationships
10 REALITIES ABOUT LOVE RELATIONSHIP
You can never live your life right with wrong beliefs
Reality 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
(So be real, learn the skill of resolving your conflicts).
Reality 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
(Give them for each other and learn communication skill).
Reality 3
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!
(You have to work on your marriage relationship to make it meaningful for each other. It will not happen automatically).
Reality 4
Married life is about communication.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
(The way you speak to each other will either build up each other or destroy each other. It is your choice. Read Ephesians 4:29).
Reality 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
(Treat each other with courtesy and respect just as when you first met).
Reality 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
(Man is the head of the family which means he is to take responsibility in leadership to ensure good and the happiness of his home. Wife is to be the helper and help her man to be successful and respect him).
Reality 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
(Be considerate. Be a good listener and talk less to understand your spouse.).
Reality 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
(Do not expect perfection in your marriage. Before you take the speck out of your spouse eyes, take the log out of your own eyes first)
Reality 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
(When you first married your chemistry was correct and after that it was a wrong mix? It is your stubbornness and unwilling to adapt to each other’s happiness that make your marriage toxic).
Reality 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
(We have to be reasonable people. Would you marry YOU? Allow each other freedom and breathing space. Do not be possessive and punishing.)
BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY:
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'
You can never live your life right with wrong beliefs
Reality 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.
(So be real, learn the skill of resolving your conflicts).
Reality 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
(Give them for each other and learn communication skill).
Reality 3
Marriage is grand — and divorce is at least 100 grand!
(You have to work on your marriage relationship to make it meaningful for each other. It will not happen automatically).
Reality 4
Married life is about communication.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
(The way you speak to each other will either build up each other or destroy each other. It is your choice. Read Ephesians 4:29).
Reality 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
(Treat each other with courtesy and respect just as when you first met).
Reality 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
(Man is the head of the family which means he is to take responsibility in leadership to ensure good and the happiness of his home. Wife is to be the helper and help her man to be successful and respect him).
Reality 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
(Be considerate. Be a good listener and talk less to understand your spouse.).
Reality 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.
(Do not expect perfection in your marriage. Before you take the speck out of your spouse eyes, take the log out of your own eyes first)
Reality 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
(When you first married your chemistry was correct and after that it was a wrong mix? It is your stubbornness and unwilling to adapt to each other’s happiness that make your marriage toxic).
Reality 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
(We have to be reasonable people. Would you marry YOU? Allow each other freedom and breathing space. Do not be possessive and punishing.)
BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY:
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment, but then smiled, 'It really works!'
What is The Marriage Course?
The Marriage Course is very practical, giving any married couple the tools to build a strong and healthy marriage that lasts a lifetime. Over eight sessions, couples talk about important issues that can get swept under the carpet in the rush of daily life.
Who Is It For?
· Are you married?
· Have you been together for over a year?
· Would you like your relationship to be the best it can be?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of those questions then this course is for you!
The Marriage Course is for any couple, whether you have been together for one year or 61 years and whether you feel you have a strong relationship or are struggling.
If you have a strong marriage this course will help you make it even better and will reinforce your good habits. If on the other hand your marriage is in difficulty, the course will help provide you with very practical tools to help you work through the issues. Some couples who are separated have used the course as a way of trying to get back together. Whatever your situation, the practical tools you learn will help improve and strengthen your relationship.
This course will help you deepen your relationship. You can move from dull to dynamic. You can even turn away from separation or divorce. Others have done it. You can do it, too.
An eight session course set in a fantastic atmosphere. You will be served with light refreshment at a romantic table for two while listening to practical talks that are informative and fun, played on DVD.
There is never any group work and you will never be asked to share anything about your relationship with anyone other than your partner.
Register today with bro. Wong Vui Min or call church office at 215615, 218257.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Sticking Together
by Rev. James WongToday marks the 15th day of the Chinese New Year celebration which is also the last day. It is also know as the Lantern Festival or Yuanxiao Festival.
Chinese celebrate the first full moon of the year on this day and it is the time for family reunion again. In our highly mobile world today, many family members seldom meet each other except during the Chinese New Year when everyone comes home from near and far to spend time together to renew family ties.
Family relationship is among the most important relationships in our lives. When God created Adam He said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Gen 2:18 NIV). Here begins the foundational need for companionship and a family. We find our meaning and a sense of wellbeing when we belong to a family. We should not take family relationships frivolously because the Bible warns us that, “if anyone does not take care of his relatives, especially the members of his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8 TEV).
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you are to care for those in your family and those related to your family such as your grand parents, parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunties, cousins, nephews and nieces, father-in-laws and mother-in-laws and everyone related to you in some way. You are obligated to care for them and preserve the relationships lest you will be branded as worse than those who do not know God in their lives. But what about those difficult relationships? Jesus said: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44 NIV). Most of our relatives are not our enemies and yet we cannot tolerate them.
I have seen a family that kept the tradition of gathering together for a reunion meal in the eldest brother’s home on the first day of Chinese New Year. Gradually, every family and their siblings became Christians. Most of them make excuses that they cannot come for such reunion anymore because they need to visit their church members or their cell group members. The family ties were broken since then.
Some Hockkien eat “Tangyuan” on the last day of the Chinese New Year. It is a kind of cake, which looks like a table tennis ball (a little smaller) made of sticky rice with sweet stuffing inside. Everyone eats a few on Lantern Festival, which symbolizes family will stick together. Is your family sticking together? This is the focus of the sermon.
Chinese celebrate the first full moon of the year on this day and it is the time for family reunion again. In our highly mobile world today, many family members seldom meet each other except during the Chinese New Year when everyone comes home from near and far to spend time together to renew family ties.
Family relationship is among the most important relationships in our lives. When God created Adam He said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." (Gen 2:18 NIV). Here begins the foundational need for companionship and a family. We find our meaning and a sense of wellbeing when we belong to a family. We should not take family relationships frivolously because the Bible warns us that, “if anyone does not take care of his relatives, especially the members of his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Tim 5:8 TEV).
If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you are to care for those in your family and those related to your family such as your grand parents, parents, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunties, cousins, nephews and nieces, father-in-laws and mother-in-laws and everyone related to you in some way. You are obligated to care for them and preserve the relationships lest you will be branded as worse than those who do not know God in their lives. But what about those difficult relationships? Jesus said: “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matt 5:44 NIV). Most of our relatives are not our enemies and yet we cannot tolerate them.
I have seen a family that kept the tradition of gathering together for a reunion meal in the eldest brother’s home on the first day of Chinese New Year. Gradually, every family and their siblings became Christians. Most of them make excuses that they cannot come for such reunion anymore because they need to visit their church members or their cell group members. The family ties were broken since then.
Some Hockkien eat “Tangyuan” on the last day of the Chinese New Year. It is a kind of cake, which looks like a table tennis ball (a little smaller) made of sticky rice with sweet stuffing inside. Everyone eats a few on Lantern Festival, which symbolizes family will stick together. Is your family sticking together? This is the focus of the sermon.
Unity In The Family
How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! 2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron's beard, down upon the collar of his robes. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore. ~Ps 133:1-3 (NIV)
1. The Importance of Family Ties
But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.
~1 Tim 5:8 (NIV)
“The man who brings trouble on his family will have nothing at the end.”
~Prov 11:29 (TEV)
2. Keeping the Family Ties
Do Not Be Too Critical
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ~Matt 7:1-2 (NIV)
Do Not Be Too Calculative
“So Abram said to Lot, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left." ~Gen 13:8-9 (NIV)
Honor One Another
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” ~Rom 12:10 (NIV)
Practice the Royal Law
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” ~Matt 7:12 (NIV)
1. The Importance of Family Ties
But those who won't care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.
~1 Tim 5:8 (NIV)
“The man who brings trouble on his family will have nothing at the end.”
~Prov 11:29 (TEV)
2. Keeping the Family Ties
Do Not Be Too Critical
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. ~Matt 7:1-2 (NIV)
Do Not Be Too Calculative
“So Abram said to Lot, "Let's not have any quarreling between you and me, or between your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let's part company. If you go to the left, I'll go to the right; if you go to the right, I'll go to the left." ~Gen 13:8-9 (NIV)
Honor One Another
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.” ~Rom 12:10 (NIV)
Practice the Royal Law
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” ~Matt 7:12 (NIV)
by Dr. Kong Hee, Founder of City Harvest Church, Singapore.Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded.
John 13:3-5
Pat Riley, the outstanding NBA coach, wrote about the “danger of me.” He said, “The most difficult thing for individuals to do when they’re part of the team is to sacrifice. It’s so easy to become selfish in a team environment. To play for me. It’s very vulnerable to drop your guard and say, ‘This is who I am and I’m gonna open up and give of myself to you.’ But that’s exactly what you’ve got to do. Willingness to sacrifice is the great paradox. You must give up something in the immediate present - comfort, ease, recognition, quick rewards - to attract something even better in the future.”
What is true on the basketball court is also true in all of life. Serving others can be tough. Expending your energies and resources toward the interest of others can be exhausting. Yet, the most effective leaders are servants. Nobody demonstrated this better than Jesus on the night prior to his crucifixion. Alone with his disciples in a room in Jerusalem, Jesus did the unthinkable. When there was no servant to carry out the custom of foot-washing, Jesus assumed the role. The Master became the servant. The greatest and most high became the least and the lowest.
Jesus was able to do this because He loved His disciples (John 13:1). But He was also very secure in Himself. He knew what the Father had given to Him, where He came from, and where He was going (13:3). When you are secure in your own self-identity, you can be free to be who you are. You won’t have to struggle and strive to prove anything to anyone - not even to yourself.
While these two reasons would be adequate in and of themselves, the Lord had another reason for His actions. When He finished washing the disciples’ feet, Jesus told them, “For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you” (13:15). The Lord didn’t tell them to do “what” He had done. He commanded them to do “as” He had done. They weren’t to become full-time foot-washers, but rather full-time servants of other men and women.
Are you a follower of Jesus? Do you desire to be His disciple? Then make a commitment to do as He did and expend your energies in service to others.
(http://www.konghee.com/www/2010/02/secure-in-yourself-2/)
Emergency Telephone Numbers
These are more effective than 999
When -
You are sad, phone John 14
You have sinned, phone Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23
You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19-34
You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outcast, phone Romans 8:31-39
You are seeking peace, phone Matthew 11:25-30
It feels as if the world is bigger than God, phone Psalm 90
You need Christ like insurance, phone Romans 8:1-30
You are leaving home for a trip , phone Psalm 121
You are praying for yourself, phone Psalm 87
You require courage for a task, phone Joshua 1
Inflations and investments are hogging your thoughts, phone
Mark 10:17-31
You are depressive, phone Psalm 27
Your bank account is empty, phone Psalm 37
You lose faith in mankind, phone 1 Corinthians 13
It looks like people are unfriendly, phone John 15
You are losing hope, phone Psalm 126
You feel the world is small compared to you, phone Psalm 19
You want to carry fruit, phone John 15
Paul's secret for happiness, phone Colossians 3:12-17
With big opportunity / discovery, phone Isaiah 55
To get along with other people, phone Romans 12
ALTERNATE NUMBERS
For dealing with fear, call Psalm 47
For security, call Psalm 121:3
For assurance, call Mark 8:35
For reassurance, call Psalm 145:18
ALL THESE NUMBERS MAY BE PHONED DIRECTLY.
NO OPERATOR ASSISTANCE IS NECESSARY.
ALL LINES TO HEAVEN ARE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY.
FEED YOUR FAITH, AND DOUBT WILL STARVE TO DEATH
When -
You are sad, phone John 14
You have sinned, phone Psalm 51
You are facing danger, phone Psalm 91
People have failed you, phone Psalm 27
It feels as though God is far from you, phone Psalm 139
Your faith needs stimulation, phone Hebrews 11
You are alone and scared, phone Psalm 23
You are worried, phone Matthew 8:19-34
You are hurt and critical, phone 1 Corinthians 13
You wonder about Christianity, phone 2 Corinthians 5:15-18
You feel like an outcast, phone Romans 8:31-39
You are seeking peace, phone Matthew 11:25-30
It feels as if the world is bigger than God, phone Psalm 90
You need Christ like insurance, phone Romans 8:1-30
You are leaving home for a trip , phone Psalm 121
You are praying for yourself, phone Psalm 87
You require courage for a task, phone Joshua 1
Inflations and investments are hogging your thoughts, phone
Mark 10:17-31
You are depressive, phone Psalm 27
Your bank account is empty, phone Psalm 37
You lose faith in mankind, phone 1 Corinthians 13
It looks like people are unfriendly, phone John 15
You are losing hope, phone Psalm 126
You feel the world is small compared to you, phone Psalm 19
You want to carry fruit, phone John 15
Paul's secret for happiness, phone Colossians 3:12-17
With big opportunity / discovery, phone Isaiah 55
To get along with other people, phone Romans 12
ALTERNATE NUMBERS
For dealing with fear, call Psalm 47
For security, call Psalm 121:3
For assurance, call Mark 8:35
For reassurance, call Psalm 145:18
ALL THESE NUMBERS MAY BE PHONED DIRECTLY.
NO OPERATOR ASSISTANCE IS NECESSARY.
ALL LINES TO HEAVEN ARE AVAILABLE 24 HOURS A DAY.
FEED YOUR FAITH, AND DOUBT WILL STARVE TO DEATH
.jpg)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
