Busting the Myths ...

Busting the Myths of a Christian Marriage (Part 3)
By Judy Bodmer

One couple thought being Christians would save them from marital problems. Their naïve beliefs made everything worse.

Myth #3 Scriptures can be a simple guide for our marriage.
One of the hot issues with which Larry and I dealt was who should handle the money. We thought that to be scripturally correct Larry should pay the bills and balance the checkbook. He always felt pressured by the time it took to do this. Since he handled all our money, I never knew how much I had to spend on groceries and clothes. This added to an already tense situation.

Here's the truth: Scripture can be a valuable guide for our daily living—as long as we don't misinterpret what it says. Intensive Bible study taught us that God intends for us to be one unit, submitting to each other and working together for the good of the whole. That means using our giftedness. Right now, I have more time available to handle our daily financial tasks. There have been other times when Larry took this responsibility. We've also learned that together we make better decisions than we do individually.

Myth #4 We need to keep our marital problems to ourselves.
When I joined a women's Bible study, everyone I met looked happy and put together. I knew no one would understand that Larry and I sometimes said ugly, hurtful things to each other, so I kept quiet about what was happening in our marriage.

But the truth is: God created us as social beings to live in community where we can help each other. That weekend retreat opened my eyes. It was a couple daring to be open with us about their problems that began the healing in us. In James it says we are to confess our sins to each other so that we can pray for each other and be healed (5:16). By keeping quiet, I hindered the healing that could have come from sharing with these other women who may have been just as afraid as I was to share what they were going through. (to be continued next week)