Lessons On Relationship (Part 5)

Restoring Relationships: Confess
by Rick Warren

"First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye" (Matthew 7:5 NLT).

The fourth biblical step toward restoring a relationship is to confess your part of the conflict.

If you're serious about restoring a relationship, you should begin with admitting your own mistakes or sin. Jesus said it's the way to see things more clearly: "First get rid of the log from your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye" (Matt. 7:5 NLT).

Since we all have blind spots, you may need to ask a third party to help you evaluate your own actions before meeting with the person with whom you have a conflict.

Also, ask God to show you how much of the problem is your fault. Ask, "Am I the problem? Am I being unrealistic, insensitive, or too sensitive?" The Bible says, "If we claim that we're free of sin, we’re only fooling ourselves" (1 John 1:8 Msg).

Confession is a powerful tool for reconciliation. Often the way we handle a conflict creates a bigger hurt than the original problem itself. When you begin by humbly admitting your mistakes, it defuses the other person's anger and disarms their attack because they were probably expecting you to be defensive.

Don't make excuses or shift the blame; just honestly own up to any part you have played in the conflict. Accept responsibility for your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.
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Pause for a moment and search your heart. Where have you gone wrong? Confess your wrongs in the relationship. Don’t say the other person irritated you. You can chose not to be irritated. Was it your attitude that makes it difficult for the other person to live with you? Very often the way people treat you is the way you have been treating people. You get back what you give away! Smile for smile, love for love.