Sunday, February 19, 2012

When Love Is Not Enough ...

by Rev. James Wong

Valentine’s Day on the 14 Feb of each year is becoming more and more popular in Malaysia. It is a day where lovers express their love for each other. Some misconstrued that this is a day for sexual promiscuity. Thus, Kelantan turned Valentine’s Day to Couple’s Day.

The Bible says love is the greatest of all. I believe Valentine’s Day is a good day to show our love to our loved one in a tangible way.

We understand love as a feeling or affection for someone. It is known as the “X’ factor in a relationship where a couple is attracted to each other. However, every relationship will progress beyond this initial “X” factor and many other factors must be available to sustain the relationship.  This is the reason why the greatest love song in the Bible gives us 16 definitions of what true love is (See 1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
by Rev. James Wong

Many Christians have the notion that if they have love, their relationship will be fun, meaningful and full of excitement. Not so. It takes more than love to keep a relationship glowing through the years. The following can spice up any relationship.

Respect. “… you husbands must live with your wives with the proper understanding that they are the weaker sex. Treat them with respect, …” (1 Peter 3:7 TEV).  “Wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33 NIV). We show respect by the way we treat each other and talk to each other. Listening to what the other person has to say without interruption. Preserve the other person’s dignity, be considerate, be polite and mind our manners are practical ways to show respect.

Compromise. The Bible teaches the principle of ‘one flesh’ between a couple (Matthew 19:4-6). The ability to achieve closeness by blending two lives together is possible through compromise. It is not a compromise in silence or resignation to avoid arguments as this will not promote intimacy but push each other further away emotionally. To compromise is to acknowledge and accept each other’s differences. “If she is an apple and you are an orange, celebrate your differences. Love isn’t about being the same. It’s about being sweet with each other.”

Caring. Take care of each other’s feelings and needs. The feeling of love and being loved, is the spark that keeps a relationship glowing. ‘I love you but I am no more in love with you’ is a catch phrase that describes a relationship that is devoid of intimacy. In a love relationship, the goal is to fulfill each other’s needs. Show restrain and never say or do anything that will hurt each other’s feelings. We can show we care by giving sincere compliments, giving a helping hand and being gentle to each other.  “Love never fails.”

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