-To win others for Christ-
"A man who has friends must himself be friendly,” Proverbs 18:24 (NKJV)
1. Friendliness is doing what makes others feel comfortable. It's not about me; it's about you. When someone says, "Talking to someone I don't know well makes me feel uncomfortable," they are still focused on themselves. Jesus said: "If anyone wants to come with me, he must forget himself, take up his cross every day, and follow me” (Luke 9:23-24 TEV).
2. Smile and take the initiative to speak. Smile and do not wait for the other person to speak first. This might be your new skill. But as you learn this skill it will become second nature. Having friends is about being a friend. This requires time, thought and effort. Take the first step and be a friend to someone.
3. Speak audibly and speak in complete sentences. Speak up. When someone says something to you, say something back. One word answers, like yes or no, kill a conversation. When answering a question, add an explanatory sentence or two. "Yes, we went. It was really good. The best part was …”
4. When you are not sure what to say, ask questions. What have you been doing today? What is that you are holding? Where are you going for the Chinese New Year? Ask a question and listen.
5. Be a good listener. Instead of planning what you are going to say next, listen to what the other person is saying. Ask questions about what is said to gain a better understanding. When the Bible says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15), it is saying, take a genuine interest in the other person's feelings.
6. Always help people save face. Embarrass me or save me from embarrassment – either way – I will remember you. People don't mind having friends who are smarter, but they don't want friends who make them feel stupid. Instead, when someone slips and says something silly that makes others laugh, come to their rescue. "Well, it is true that. . ." Help your friends to save face.
7. Be humble but don't put yourself down. When we put ourselves down, it makes others feel awkward. People don't know what to say. Being humble doesn't mean you need to feel inferior. Humility gives you a magnetic personality. Jesus was known to be friends of sinners.
1. Friendliness is doing what makes others feel comfortable. It's not about me; it's about you. When someone says, "Talking to someone I don't know well makes me feel uncomfortable," they are still focused on themselves. Jesus said: "If anyone wants to come with me, he must forget himself, take up his cross every day, and follow me” (Luke 9:23-24 TEV).
2. Smile and take the initiative to speak. Smile and do not wait for the other person to speak first. This might be your new skill. But as you learn this skill it will become second nature. Having friends is about being a friend. This requires time, thought and effort. Take the first step and be a friend to someone.
3. Speak audibly and speak in complete sentences. Speak up. When someone says something to you, say something back. One word answers, like yes or no, kill a conversation. When answering a question, add an explanatory sentence or two. "Yes, we went. It was really good. The best part was …”
4. When you are not sure what to say, ask questions. What have you been doing today? What is that you are holding? Where are you going for the Chinese New Year? Ask a question and listen.
5. Be a good listener. Instead of planning what you are going to say next, listen to what the other person is saying. Ask questions about what is said to gain a better understanding. When the Bible says, "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep" (Romans 12:15), it is saying, take a genuine interest in the other person's feelings.
6. Always help people save face. Embarrass me or save me from embarrassment – either way – I will remember you. People don't mind having friends who are smarter, but they don't want friends who make them feel stupid. Instead, when someone slips and says something silly that makes others laugh, come to their rescue. "Well, it is true that. . ." Help your friends to save face.
7. Be humble but don't put yourself down. When we put ourselves down, it makes others feel awkward. People don't know what to say. Being humble doesn't mean you need to feel inferior. Humility gives you a magnetic personality. Jesus was known to be friends of sinners.
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